Another Covid Conversation

In Alberta we have now been shut out from “normal” life since March 2019. The day the government announced the first shut down I cried. Not for me, but for all the people who have small business in which they have invested their savings and their lives. Shutdown doesn’t make too much of a problem for me, but what about the kids (anyone younger than me)? Learning is best when kids are out and about, in the real world. What about all of the people who will no longer be able to keep up their mortgage payment? What about that young chef from ?!Why Not!? who was just getting his restaurant going?

In the summer of 2019, a friend who works diligently to keep us all in touch, sent a questionnaire for each member of our little group to respond to. Here are my responses.

What has changed? What is your day like?

Everything about my life has changed in the past couple of years, so the lockdown was just a step deeper into the change. Sort of like super-retirement! There doesn’t seem to be an average day, or any regularity. I sleep in as long as I want (up between 5:30 to 9 am) and go to bed fairly early (some time between 8:30 to 10 pm). I’m not well planned. Other than staying in touch with family and friends, I just take up little projects that catch my attention. Cleaning and organizing seems to be high on the list. Even went through my clothes in the Marie Kondo style, freeing up all sorts of space and finding that extra dresser is not needed at all! 

These are some of my projects:  reading, sewing jogging pants for granddaughter Matilda, taking an on line course on how to make videos on your phone, trying to make videos, getting my income tax done, playing with Kaldi (our happy pooch), planning and planting the garden, baking bread and cinnamon buns, practicing the ukulele, repairing the fence, moving a raspberry patch, walking about 5 kilometers a day in the river valley, transcribing a great aunt’s 1901 journal, writing, creating a web site for family recipes, organizing photos…. well, that is the gist of it. The only regular activity is taking care of Matilda one day a week. Having her in our bubble has been a blessing. All days seem to go by very quickly.

What do you miss most/find most challenging?

1. It has been extremely difficult helping my mother and Richard’s father. My mother is 94. Richard’s father was 95, and sadly passed away during lockdowns. The isolation, while perhaps good for many of the younger residents in their homes, has been devastating for them. Seeing family is really  their main reason to live, and that was taken away. Phone calls are just not the same thing. My mother, while remaining incredibly upbeat, has expressed that she doesn’t really care if she lives any longer, she just wants to be with family, to see their smiles and feel a warm embrace from the ones she loves. Both of them lost cognitive function and mobility as a result of the isolation of lockdown. The residences they are in are excellent, but paid staff cannot replace family.

2. The lack of physical contact with friends and family is also the most challenging part of the lockdown for me. It was great to see  some of the neighbors at Elaine and Cole’s 50th anniversary event last summer. It was heartwarming to see so many turn up on the road and sidewalk to help celebrate this occasion, even if it was a brief encounter! When I arrived Margaret threw her arms out as if to give me a hug, and then quickly withdrew them as it was not possible. I cried all the way home. I hope this is not one of the things that continues from this day forward. 

What do I like about lockdown?

The biggest benefit of the lockdown has been the opportunity to reflect. Definitely there has also been a gift of time. The lockdown took reflection further, not only for me but for everyone – which has awakened the mind to possibilities and generated conversations as to what to do from here. Sometimes when a road is blocked there is no other choice but to take a different path. 

What have I learned by being in lockdown?

There is so much to learn and challenging times seems to provide even more learning opportunities! Here are a few of my insights:

1.  I already have everything I need, I don’t need to go to any store. (except for plants, I need plants.)

2. I’ll never be a seamstress or a ukulele player. I spent more time ripping out than sewing those miniature jogging pants. And with the ukulele I can’t remember the cords from one practice to the next. So, the sewing machine is now reserved for mending; and for now the ukulele is back in the closet.

3. While all techie things look like they should be easy, they are full of pitfalls and take a lot of time!

4. Making bread is so much fun, but eating it has undesirable effects. 

5. And one that just keeps coming back to me: You have to let people choose their own adventure… and smile and wave!

I guess that is about it for the survey. I’m looking forward to enjoying appetizers and wine with my lady friends some time in the future. In the mean time , during the first lockdown the blossoms were beautiful and the spring greening happened. And during the second lockdown the river trail paths are proving a great retreat, and the wonderful strangeness that is life is still there to be enjoyed!

Checking the News

I check on line for news, look at Facebook and check my e-mail several times a day. I am looking for some kind of news, but I haven’t figured out exactly what. It’s always disappointing, always the same sort of news from the regular media, a bunch of disasters, murders and mayhem. The social media is not very social, it seems to have turned into a egoic platform for anyone to try to convince others that their viewpoint is the right one. And we all know how that goes – try to tell someone they are wrong, and you’ll just get more resistance! Of course the nice part of social media is that there is some humour there, and some friends who are letting us know what they are doing to find pleasure in simple moments.

It’s all well and good, but why am I checking. What am I looking for I wonder, in this mindless ritual. I need to make my own news.

So I put the phone down this morning and looked outside. The weather is pretty mild, cloudy with a chance of sun later today. I noticed that the squirrels are sprinting along the top of fence while my pup is curled in my lap. The chickadees are still singing their sweet two or three note whistle and a lot of critters that are never seen leave track in the snow to let me know they have visited. The world really hasn’t changed much in spite of all the disaster the media reports.

No Words

The hairs prickled on the back of my neck. Exactly where the menace came from I couldn’t say, but I knew it was just a matter of seconds. I raced for the front door and got there just in time to see those creepy sagging grey eyes peering in, and then I slammed the door shut and twisted the lock. Having failed to catch the latch, the door flung open and I lurched back in terror, mouth wide open in a terrified scream. But not a sound came out. I tried again and again as I felt my foe advance, but not a squeak. Then I woke with a start in a cold sweat. It was just the same terrifying recurring dream.

Today I realized it’s source. My attempts at writing have been futile; I can’t find my voice. I can’t even seem to determine what I want to say! Or to whom! Instead of just continuing a voiceless scream, I’ve decided to just work slowly at getting a few little squeaks out!

Travelling fast to …. January 7, 2012 – January 11, 2021

January 7, 2012

Here is my Horoscope today:

“You are so far ahead of the pack that you may be starting to lap the stragglers. It’s a good time for you to step up and ensure that you know where you’re going, as this level of speed can’t be sustained forever.”

Wow, I love a horoscope like that. I wonder what I am so far ahead in! In any event, I have been thinking hard about where I’m going, and feel that I’m on the verge of a breakthrough. Oh the excitement of future possibilities!

January 11, 2021

I never published that Twig in 2012, and I still don’t really know where I’m going, but a lot has changed in the past 9 years; as is the way. I don’t usually look at horoscopes, but here it is for today:

“Today you are more likely to see the larger view of things, especially if you are planning ahead. You might see patterns and come up with insights that amaze others, especially bosses, parents, teachers and VIPs. This will help you organize your thoughts about the future.”

Wow, it is going to be another great day!!! I knew it!!

Warmth from Granny

When my grandmother passed away, I somehow got the heating pad that she had. I don’t know how that came about, but I have had that heating pad since 1973, and it has been a good friend soothing sore spots, warming the bed when it felt cold, and easing the chills on cold winter nights. And each time I used that heating pad I thought of grannie. What a wonderful gift.

But the heating pad started to get old and I felt that it might not be safe any longer keeping me company through the night, so I just folded it up and put it on a shelf – only to be used for emergency comfort. Then yesterday when Laura and I decided to make yogurt the google recipe said that a heating pad would be good for the incubation of the culture. So wow – another use for my granny’s heating pad. We made yogurt, and it was wonderful; but the heating pad just couldn’t take it any more and that was it’s last job. Thanks grandma, if only I could let you know how much comfort you gave so many years after you left.

The History of the Universe

One of the few decorative objects in my living room is a twenty volume set of 1911 Grolier’s Book of Knowledge, The Children’s Encyclopedia.  After reading an article entitled “The History of the Universe”, in which the theory of the time was presented with incredible certainly, my big brother Wallace noted “Well, they knew more then than we know now.”